I have this sort of belief that ugly people only end up with ugly people. But hey, who am I to judge how someone looks. But that belief haunts me, it gives a tug in my heart when I find someone really pretty and my mind just tells me "C'mon, she's waaaayyyy out of your league". Let's be honest, pretty girls belong to cliques. They're the famous ones who go clubbing everyday and easily get some jock with a 6-pack easily. However, there are also beauties that are hidden gems in this world who are pretty down-to-earth and nice people.
Sorry if I'm starting to sound pathetic but this is the social stereotype. No pretty girl would just fall in love with some guy who's got shabby looks, weighing 105 kg, 5'8" and has no fashion sense. My looks are below average in this imaginary scale of handsomeness. I have dimples but my cheeks are too fat to make them look obvious. I have a 6-pack but unfortunately my fat stomach is in the way. I have pimples virtually anywhere. When I keep a mustache for so long, I begin to look like a paedophile. I'm a 17 and a half Asian living in the UK for fuck's sake, and I even wear braces which just makes me look like a weirdo.
But let's look into the positive side. I've been viewed as a good person having a good sense of humour. I don't have any vices. Despite my body, I could still play sports like basketball, football (soccer) and swimming among others and have a very average speed for a non-jock. I don't go to the gym because I have no time however, I eat healthily as much as possible. I am relatively intelligent but I'm not the best. I'm good at Maths, I am an aspiring doctor, I can cook, I clean the house, I can do physical jobs, I am very disciplined. I am a romantic, very hopeless even. I have no vices, I hate smoking and drinking is not a thing for me.
Although my post is starting to look like some bio for a dating site, I just want to point out that I also look into my good traits despite being ugly. But don't get me wrong, I'm not faultless. I still am a liar, a slacker and I do swear a lot. My work ethic is not too great as well, I am organised however I am not a neat guy.
Despite those "great" qualities I possess, I still am gutted with the fact that I am just simply ugly. No pretty girl wouldn't like me and society will just keep on judging me. Although the perception of beauty varies from person to person, I still know which of those girls are considered generally pretty. So when I meet someone that is good and beautiful and I start developing a crush? My self-esteem instantly drops. I am not worthy of such a human being.
It sucks to be ugly you know, I have to drop my standards. I have to earn my way to a beautiful girl's trust but not expect to always get it. So if you're saying that just by being a good person you'll be able to get a girl's heart? That's utter bullshit. You need to have looks, or at least some self-confidence and self-esteem. Being ugly, I have no sense of pride because what do I pride on anyway? My flabs?
I'm not saying that all beautiful girls are bitches and I'm not saying all girls should start dropping their standards to give the ugly people a chance. Learning biology, selection is described to be organisms with the best physical characteristics tend to have the highest chances of finding a mate wherein they are able to reproduce and pass on those wonderful genes that they have. Do you think animals look at personality?
But anyway, this could be me just being bitter about myself. I should start gaining my self-esteem back.
I just don't know how.