Maybe you found it easier to move on because you know that we're not meant to be together.
There's this thing in me that's actually desperate to know if my absence ever brought you any pain. Did you have sleepless nights with thoughts of me? Was your heart broken in the same places as mine?
Did you even shed a tear for me?
I want to know that I actually meant something to you.
Why him?
Why not go for the guy with good grades, right manners and a great sense of humor?
Why not go for the guy who has already told you that he loves you?
Why go for the guy with the mysterious aura, inconsistent and with unsure motives?
Perhaps he challenged you. He made you question everything you know about life.
Perhaps he made you laugh unlike anyone did.
Perhaps it's because he's a mystery.
Perhaps.
Why should I think of you when you never think of me? Why should I make everything revolve around you when you don't make anything revolve around me? Why should I think of building a future around you when you never thought of builiding a future around me?
I mean, why should I even stay with you even when you don't ask me to?
You know, for so long, that I love you.
However, we're bestfriends and you're blinded by this.
Over and over, you choose someone else instead of me.
You don't understand all the petty wishes, beliefs and prayers that I've used up on you. You come talk to me as if they're irrelevant; as if they were non-existent.
In the end, they'll just pass as empty words to you; until I bring it up again.
I wish I could just slide under my blankets and sleep forever.
Only wake me up when my heart stops breaking.
Only wake me up when you know I can live a happy, blissful life.
Only wake me up when you know someone will love me for who I am, unconditionally.
No, I don't want to die.
And there's that fine line in between those two that makes the difference.
If I wait for you, years will go by.
Seasons will pass.
However, you won't be as beautiful as the first snowflake of winter.
You won't be as beautiful as the first bloom of spring.
You won't be as beautiful as the first sunshine of summer.
You won't be as beautiful as the first autumn leaf that falls.
I could wait forever, only if I know that you're coming.
But time is precious.
You are not worth the winter snowflakes, spring blooms, summer sunshines and autumn leaves.
Do I regret it?
No.
Just because we didn't work out doesn't mean you're not the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Because you are.