I never thought I'd ever be infatuated with you this much.
I want to hold your hand.
I want to lie down with you in some field in the middle of nowhere, watching the stars.
I want to watch romcom films with you, criticising every possibe cliche and just laugh off the corniness.
I just lack the courage to do so.
In a world where it's OK to just kiss someone so randomly to profess your love, I'm always gonna be that one old-school romantic. There's something so repulsive in aggresiveness. It is, in a way, disrespectful and forced.
I don't want to force myself in someone's life.
Call me sentimental, call me hopeless; I don't mind. I don't mind because it's true.
I read once that Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I could have a million words to describe my feelings for you but all that ever crosses my mind is the way your shoulder brushes up against mine as we walk out together from that 6pm lecture.
I hate that we spend most of our time just chattering small talk. I love deep talks and I'd give up a lot just to have late night conversations with you.
But it's OK, I know you don't always have time for that.
I know you're busy with other things you'd prefer doing and that's OK for me. As I've said, I'm not a forceful person.
But I just want you to know that if ever you get the urge to share your thoughts on that film you just watched or tell me how you got yourself hooked with Harry Potter or rant how that girl from the club was such a massive bitch or tell me your views on politics, religion, showbiz, outer space or the epiphany you just had in the toilet 40 seconds ago, go for it. Tell me everything, no matter how random it is. I will hang on everything that you say.
I don't want to talk about what I did last weekend. I don't want this routine to just get stuck with us forever.
I just want to be that guy for you.
You mean more to me than just small talk.
I don't care about what I'm doing this weekend.
I care about you.
We both know I don't have the courage to do such a feat. It's not that I'm spineless or uncreative. I'm just not an initiator. I'm never that confident with myself. Sometimes, I just need that extra push.
Sometimes, I just want a sign.
Or better yet, a chance.
I know I'm not the most good-looking guy out there nor am I the nicest but I just want to let you know that you made me start looking for confidence. Your presence helps me bring the best out of myself. Just being around you calms me down, soothes my mind and makes my day. As much as you don't seem to care or you just never notice it, you motivate me to push myself and somehow convince me I can be a better person.
It's weird, I know. Even I find it weird yet I believe everything happens for a reason. I guess the reason is simply,
I've fallen for you.