The Blog Project: Avoiding a Faux Pas

It seems simple yet it's a battle of guts. Starting a conversation is something, but keeping the flow is an entirely different process. Saying what you want is not necessarily what you need to say unless you want to take a gamble. If you really want to flush out everything you want to say from your heart then try taking the gamble. You'll never know unless you try.

Life is a gamble. Sometimes you lose, sometimes you win.

Try being humble next time.

The Blog Project : A Storm brewed, A Sunrise yet to be made

It was all for a show. Everyone wants a good show anyway.

First was just instinct. And for that instinct, I made a really stupid, bad call.

And for that she changed my outlook on love.

Second was just impact. Makes your day. Well, she changed to a great extent. Well, she's happy and I'm happy. I came back to her, again using my instinct, and I experienced another great deal of damage.

And for that she taught me that to set my priorities right.

Third was just timing. She had more balls than me, well in certain circumstances. Actually, I didn't have the balls to tell her I like her personally.

And for that she taught me that you should know how to stand up for yourself.

Fourth was just impression. Good looks, good smile, good talk, same interests and I thought that she was the perfect one. Well, that resulted to a drastic change in my social life.

And for that she changed the way I make my impressions to others.

Fifth was special. Hold that thought, We'll get back to her.

Sixth was just emotions. I thought I had a good shot but the past was still clinging to me. Another thing was that she is numb. Offence not intended.

And for that she taught me to not move on that easily.

Seventh was just desperation. Desperation wasn't a good ingredient in love.

And for that she taught me that in love, desperation is never an option.

Let's get to Fifth.

I don't want to call her Fifth anymore but instead let's just call her First again.

She is a different kind of First though. She is hard to read. She is very frail. She is very cautious. She is careless. She is high. She is low. She is very hard to read. She is strong. She is adventurous. She is funny. She is dramatic. She is avoiding. She is emotional.

She is very different.

Words just can't describe her.

I don't know what I exactly feel, but I do get that stirring feeling inside every time I talk to her. I get excited.

And now words can't describe just how much I miss her. If I could just get a glimpse of her again then damn, I could live for two weeks!

She is just that kind of girl.

She is my First Love. 

Sorry for a brief hiatus. The odds weren't at my favor during those times for blogging. Anyway, I'm still alive and kicking!

Watch out for my posts and more episodes of The Blog Project.

-The Rusty Weatherman 11/12/13

The Blog Project : Give Me Love

This line fits every single aspect of my love life.

To tell you the truth, I do envy couples. I envy them so much that it came to the point I laugh whenever I hear them joke, I worry when I see them crying and I blush pathetically when I see them do "cheesy stuff".

I do look like I'm acting all normal and stuff but it's just what I've felt. I didn't have too much of a childhood to tell you the truth. I've never been given the responsibility that came solely from me.

It's just a matter of experience. I have never experienced having someone special in my life. Someone I could always rely on, someone I feel so confident to be with, and someone who always has time to to be with me.

They seem to look like qualities of a bestfriend or anything, but rest assured, a girlfriend can do better.

The Blog Project : The Introduction

What is the 'Blog Project'?

It's a way to make a difference through small things, like a blog.

It's a way of living life in different points of perspective. Yes, not view, perspective.

It's a way of expressing such unimportant things that matter.

It's a collection.

It's a difference.

It's a lifestyle.

It matters.

Standards

Others would say, "FUCK THE SYSTEM"

I would say, "Shitty Standards".

Yes, I would rather have a faulty system than bullshit standards. I would rather have anarchy than racism, I would rather have war than inequality and I would rather go on than look stupid.

The SYSTEM makes you aware of your stupidity and your inability in being a scholar or anything while STANDARDS make you look stupider, uglier, prettier, smarter or more <insert adjective here>-er.

The system is the one we are obligated to obey. We understand the system, and most of the time we agree and live with it.

But with standards, it's a different story.

Standards give us a choice of obedience... under pressure. And most of the time, it becomes our lifestyle

These days, standards overtake the system. Yes, you are stupid even though you are in good standing. Yes, you are ugly because no one likes you. Yes, you are weird because you are not in our friendship circle. And thank God you left the school because we've been hoping for it ever since we laid our eyes upon you.

The system is just a basis these days. Standards trigger systems, and even thought they are just fucking standards, they become a fucking system.

Standards will always be < the system.

Endnote:
"I left because of the system. I understand and I won't have any hard feelings for it. I just can't accept the fact that standards were always the 99.01% reason of my leaving, failing and etc.: Crappy acknowledgments, Social high-classiness and the number one enemy of all, favoritism. I just wish there would only just be a system.

I am branded a 'kick-out', a 'lazy asshole' and a 'school fugitive' because of standards. But I will always be branded a 'scholar' because of the system.

And I will always stand for the system."

The Next Page

Our life is like our journal.

Every time you fill up a page, you turn to the next one and start writing once more. As you write, you see that there are markings that sunk in from the last page.

Those are memories.

Every time we start writing a new entry in our journal, markings are present. It's hard to start our lives in fresh paper. We can't evade the marking forever for they will always be there, affecting every entry you write.

After three years of pain and hardwork, my efforts were, I won't say wasted but they aren't just enough to meet some fucking standards. I have to transfer and do stuff...

Long story short, I have to start a new page in my journal

The markings wouldn't be simply normal markings per say. They would be like the marking of a marker through paper or like a hard-pressed pen's or something. It's just that those memories would remain fresh for a long time. It would be inevitable to write something new without being aware of the past.

There'll always come a time when we'll need to flip the page. And we'll reach the end of our journal

Fairytale

Life is like a fairytale...

I once told that to a friend, but she replied she hoped so. I stopped and thought why. Life has a lot great things to offer and yet there's this one person who disagrees.

I was born optimistic in life. I look at the great things life has to offer despite the shit I'm still going through. It just gives you motivation even though it's still a long walk to that joy I will have. But I suddenly thought, why enjoy later if you could enjoy now? Get the best things out of each step you take, I thought.

Like in a fairytale, we expect that our lives will have a happy ending. But why have a happy ending if you could have a happy start, or a happy middle? I don't see the sense of not cherishing the moment of now for saving it later.

In our fairytale called life, we are the authors, editors, publishers, etcetera.  We write how we journey into this world full of things worth of curiosity. How we fall and rise back. And sometimes how we give up. No one could shape your life, they just critique. It depends if you will let yourself get affected. We are the masters of our book.

It's up to us on how we write our "happy" endings...

-The Rusty Weatherman 16/02/13

Dodgeball

The game of Dodgeball is like the game of life. They throw balls at you, you dodge it, sometimes catch it, and at some point, get hit by one. Like when life throws you a problem.

In life's version of Dodgeball, instead of balls, problems are thrown at you. And for some reason we are obligated to catch it. Problems are meant to be caught. You can't dodge the balls forever. You can't win without getting hit by one.

Like the game of Dodgeball, you never know when the balls are going to be thrown at you. But the thing is we know that it's coming towards us. Strategically, when you dodge a ball, you get to be the number one target at some point. That's when you disregard a problem, it gets worse. More and more balls are thrown at you and you will have a hard time throwing it all back.

In Dodgeball, when you get hit, you're out of the game, right? In life's version, it means you've been blinded or you've simply disregarded the problem. Like the concept of dodging problems, getting hit by one means that you've been stupid lately. How can you not see that coming? But it doesn't mean you're out of the game. It means you've got to pick up that ball!

When you catch a ball, you've got to throw it back, right? We got to give back the problem to life and tell that we've got the solution. It's easy when you're only holding one ball but if you caught too much, you can't throw it all at the same time, right? You've got to take time and throw the balls one by one. As for the dodgers and the hit people, you've got to pick it all up and throw it back with a solution. Take your time, you can't rush these kinds of stuff.

The worst things in life come free to us. Sometimes, they hit you softly. Sometimes, they hit you straight into the face. You've got to solve and get the best things out of each ball. Even though you've got a price to pay, no matter what size, at least you know it's worth it.

-The Rusty Weatherman 29/01/13

Still stuck on one of those daydreams..

-The Rusty Weatherman 29/01/13

A Table for Two

Love doesn't workout with reservations and "first-come-first-served"'s. It works out if you have the guts to step out of the line and go for it. It works out when you're aware that your ego's on the line, your emotional status is on the line, your reputation's on the line, but still you give up your whole plate. The thing is you don't know how to work it out when it all goes to the highest bidder. The feeling sucks.

Just lately, my crush for two years was asked for prom by the person she likes. Obviously, she said yes. I felt happy for them, but deep, deep inside I was crying. I've put loads of effort just so she could catch my attention. It's like I gave up a whole year's worth of food in exchange for a midnight snack. But then I knew she would be happier if she were to be with him. That's the true meaning of love: sacrifice.

-The Rusty Weatherman 27/01/13

First Post, First Love

I've been thinking about this girl, it's been over two years since we've last seen each other. It was at the social club on this international cruise ship. I remember her rosy cheeks, round eyes, also her dark, wavy hair, her pink lips and her smile that makes any guy go head over heels for her.

But it's been two years, her birthday's almost two weeks from now. She may have forgotten me after two years but I haven't. Her name just keeps on crossing onto my mind. She may not be my legitimate crush but their's a special place in my heart just for her. I hope she remembers that there's me on the other side of her world.

By the way, I go by the name 'The Rusty Weatherman'.