It's OK, you don't have to love me
You were never going to love me, anyway.
I knew that.
You knew that.
///
I was the type of person to reach for the moon, stars and other heavenly bodies.
That's why I reached towards you.
However, you were afraid.
Afraid of being abandoned and left alone by the people you love, the same people who you thought loved you. You were afraid that if I saw right through that facade, I'd see the cracks, ridges and shattered memories.
That's why you pushed me away.
But you know, before you even thought about that, I've already seen it.
The cracks. The ridges. The shattered memories.
All the aches and pain.
Yet I loved you all the same.
///
I figured out that I can never love someone the way I loved you.
When you started thinking that you didn't deserve me was the first moment that you stopped deserving me.
But you may just continue with life just fine.
///
I am certain that we made a huge impact to each other.
But in the end, I'll just be a memory to you, may or may not be forgotten.
I was once someone who you had right before your eyes. All you had to do was to embrace me.
But now, I'm just someone at the back of your head.
But who knows? In the future, things may be different.
At least memories don't change but people do.
///
Oddly, I feel cheated on.
I don't know if by Love.
I don't know if by Life.
I don't know if by you.
But from the moment you broke my heart, I can never look at you the same.
My soul is too tired already. Tired from chasing nonexistent entities. Tired from trying. Tired from being too strong for too long.
Tired from hoping that one day you'll be there.
Tired from being given up by people.
Pathetic, isn't it?
///
I'm sorry that I can't be the friend that you wanted to have.
Or the friend that you think you deserved.
Or the kind of person who you want to love you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I have to break my promise to you.
For this time, I'll be the one to let go.