Have you ever been so down that you don't even know if you can still pick yourself up?
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts you as much?
Have you ever held on something that you know will never exist?
Love is too much, too complex for me. I've always lived for a one-sided love. I've never had someone who genuinely likes me (except for my family). I've never experienced how it is to be wanted, to be responsible for such an important task. It can't just exist in my dreams, in my fantasies because I know that each of us deserve to have this wonderful moments.
I don't even know why I get jealous of people who've had multiple relationships. I don't know why it makes me so desperate. I don't know why do I think that I live in a world full of jerks and their cute faces and their manly build. It's like they exist so that they could shove it in my face that they're better in all aspects -- and that they only deserve a relationship.
Love is never fair. Reality is never fair. If you are born an ugly duckling, you live forever an ugly duckling. In this world, there will always be someone who will be better than you.
Deal with it.
Fantasies are for kids. Touchy cheesy movies are for hopeless romantics. Love is for the people who are lucky enough. Depression is for the people fucked up by Life and Love.
Why live everyday just being let down by life, tripped by society and fucked up by reality. Why do we teach ourselves that we will have happy endings? Why don't we have happy middles or even start happy?
Everybody deserves to be loved. Everybody deserves a relationship. Be it monogamous, polygamous, platonic, acquaintance, family or exclusive with God, everybody lives for a happy relationship. Love only makes it better. Love makes acquaintances to friends. It makes friends to family and sometimes, lovers.
This is why Love is worth the wait. It's like being pregnant. Waiting for that miracle for 9 months. But with Love, it can take weeks or months or even years!
I have always been waiting for my miracle. No matter how long it will take, I will still wait.
Sunday 31 August 2014
Thursday 21 August 2014
Your Declassified Guide to the Friendzone
DISCLAIMER: The author will not hold any liability if bad things will happen after following this guide. If good things happen to you, my pleasure.
Welcome to the Friendzone!
Just to give you a brief background, the Friendzone is a state-of-relationship, zone, club or boundary established between two people wherein:
Welcome to the Friendzone!
Just to give you a brief background, the Friendzone is a state-of-relationship, zone, club or boundary established between two people wherein:
- One of them (You) develops romantic feelings for the other (The One) and lets The One know about it.
- The One doesn't return your feelings; but
- The One still considers you a friend
If you are experiencing/have experienced all of the situations above, you ARE in the Friendzone. If only two, you MAY be in the Friendzone. If only one, you are in a different relationship.
Now that you have been given a crash course in the Friendzone, let's get to the guide.
1. Establishing yourself in the Friendzone
Let me tell you this, establishing yourself in the Friendzone does not mean you have taken your relationship to a higher level. It means you have redefined your relationship being neither Platonic Friends nor Boy-/Girlfriends. It's like Purgatory, you don't know whether you'll end up in Heaven or Hell but you sure need to work everything out just to reach Heaven.
To establish yourself in the Friendzone, you must let The One be informed of your agenda. The "being informed" part is your initiation to the Friendzone, her reaction will be the one to decide your membership.
Possible Scenarios
Scene 1: The One reciprocates your feelings
Scene 2: The One calls the friendship off without reciprocating your feelings
Scene 3: The One accepts what you feel but still considers you as a friend
If such a scenario like Scene #3 happens, then you are now an official member of the Friendzone.
2. Living with it
It's up to you if you still wish to maintain the status quo, nothing much will happen though. Chances are you'll lose interest to The One or The One will get his/her own boy-/girlfriend. That is if you play safe.
To actually LIVE the Friendzone, playing safe is not an option. If you think that The One is worth taking all the risks and and she is your 'The One', then do it! Do the moves! Be aggressive! Being aggressive is an important part in keeping your relationship healthy. Be not too aggressive, just safely aggressive.
(NB: Safely Aggressive - Doing 'The Moves' on the right time and the right place)
It's still your choice if you want to redefine what you've got but some people are fine with just being friends. They think that it's better to actually have something rather than nothing.
3. Redefining the redefined, defined relationship
Warning: Do this at your own risk.
If you think that you have what it takes then it's time to redefine your relationship! Be a man (or a woman)!
Redefining your Friendzone relationship with The One takes a lot of guts, balls (Idk what they call it in women), pride and etcetera. If you think that you are prepared to change the status quo, then change it!
A. Upgrading it to a Couple's Relationship
Well this is one BIG gamble. It's like preparing a party for a very perfectionist crowd. Everything must be arranged perfectly. The slightest mistake can jeopardize the whole event. In easy terms, you are prone to getting fucked.
Only two things can happen when you do this, either The One accepts or rejects. Accepting means you have achieved in upgrading your Friendzone relationship to a magical relationship that is built with the foundation of mutual love and trust. Rejections means, well, shit. When you ASK the question to The One, keep in mind that it's a question of all or none. You must be prepared for the worst at all times. Rejection redefines your relationship to non-existing. Nothing will be left even the slightest platonic feeling. Though there are cases that you will still remain friends but it will take a huge amount of time to recover from that situation.
Either way, you have successfully redefined your relationship.
B. Giving Up
This where it's almost impossible for you to fuck this up. It's simply giving up on your Friendzone relationship. There is only one, simple end to this you have redefined your relationship (again) to friends (again). Giving up is tough though, I guarantee that especially if you have spent a respectable amount of time and effort to The One. More often than not, it's a much harder decision to make than upgrading it to a Couple's Relationship.
Defining a Relationship is as easy as adding cherry on top. Redefining is adding something on top of cherry and making it work out.
End-note
Life is not all about Love but Love gives meaning to to how it is to live.
How do you live Life when you don't even love yourself?
Now that you have been given a crash course in the Friendzone, let's get to the guide.
1. Establishing yourself in the Friendzone
Let me tell you this, establishing yourself in the Friendzone does not mean you have taken your relationship to a higher level. It means you have redefined your relationship being neither Platonic Friends nor Boy-/Girlfriends. It's like Purgatory, you don't know whether you'll end up in Heaven or Hell but you sure need to work everything out just to reach Heaven.
To establish yourself in the Friendzone, you must let The One be informed of your agenda. The "being informed" part is your initiation to the Friendzone, her reaction will be the one to decide your membership.
Possible Scenarios
Scene 1: The One reciprocates your feelings
Scene 2: The One calls the friendship off without reciprocating your feelings
Scene 3: The One accepts what you feel but still considers you as a friend
If such a scenario like Scene #3 happens, then you are now an official member of the Friendzone.
2. Living with it
It's up to you if you still wish to maintain the status quo, nothing much will happen though. Chances are you'll lose interest to The One or The One will get his/her own boy-/girlfriend. That is if you play safe.
To actually LIVE the Friendzone, playing safe is not an option. If you think that The One is worth taking all the risks and and she is your 'The One', then do it! Do the moves! Be aggressive! Being aggressive is an important part in keeping your relationship healthy. Be not too aggressive, just safely aggressive.
(NB: Safely Aggressive - Doing 'The Moves' on the right time and the right place)
It's still your choice if you want to redefine what you've got but some people are fine with just being friends. They think that it's better to actually have something rather than nothing.
3. Redefining the redefined, defined relationship
Warning: Do this at your own risk.
If you think that you have what it takes then it's time to redefine your relationship! Be a man (or a woman)!
Redefining your Friendzone relationship with The One takes a lot of guts, balls (Idk what they call it in women), pride and etcetera. If you think that you are prepared to change the status quo, then change it!
A. Upgrading it to a Couple's Relationship
Well this is one BIG gamble. It's like preparing a party for a very perfectionist crowd. Everything must be arranged perfectly. The slightest mistake can jeopardize the whole event. In easy terms, you are prone to getting fucked.
Only two things can happen when you do this, either The One accepts or rejects. Accepting means you have achieved in upgrading your Friendzone relationship to a magical relationship that is built with the foundation of mutual love and trust. Rejections means, well, shit. When you ASK the question to The One, keep in mind that it's a question of all or none. You must be prepared for the worst at all times. Rejection redefines your relationship to non-existing. Nothing will be left even the slightest platonic feeling. Though there are cases that you will still remain friends but it will take a huge amount of time to recover from that situation.
Either way, you have successfully redefined your relationship.
B. Giving Up
This where it's almost impossible for you to fuck this up. It's simply giving up on your Friendzone relationship. There is only one, simple end to this you have redefined your relationship (again) to friends (again). Giving up is tough though, I guarantee that especially if you have spent a respectable amount of time and effort to The One. More often than not, it's a much harder decision to make than upgrading it to a Couple's Relationship.
Defining a Relationship is as easy as adding cherry on top. Redefining is adding something on top of cherry and making it work out.
End-note
Life is not all about Love but Love gives meaning to to how it is to live.
How do you live Life when you don't even love yourself?
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