Sent But Not Delivered

If ale be an ailment to loneliness
Then it only lasts a night.
If skin be turned gold by Midas’ caress
Then it only lasts ‘till light.

Then, I was so free and wild;
Then, I was still half a child.
But now Apollo rides behind clouds of blue
Now I’m disgusted, ashamed, no longer new.

Before untouched, after untouched too.
Exiled to the cold, dark outskirts of your mind,
And reduced to a member of a slattern kind.
To turn to muteness is to wage war too.

If ale be an ailment to loneliness
Then it only lasts a night.
If skin be burned by a callous press
Then I will burn, burn, burn, burn bright.

Mike Hunt


Footnote

I didn't make this poem. This was made by a friend. She has been going through hard times lately due to an atrocious event that has happened.

Let us not exploit the vulnerability of people.

A Deprecatory Love

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for always greeting you in the morning.

I'm sorry for always thinking about you.

I'm sorry for always asking "How are you?".

I'm sorry for always worrying about you.

I'm sorry for waiting for you to go to sleep just so I could say "Good night".

I'm sorry that I always ask what you are up to.

I'm sorry that I care.

I'm sorry for trying to know more about you.

I'm sorry for dreaming about you.

I'm sorry that I fell for you.

I'm sorry for always keeping on talking.

I'm sorry for making you the reason why I'm online.

I'm sorry for always trying to keep up with you.

I'm sorry that I love you.

Thoughts through Testimonials: Looking Deeper at the Contrast of Like and Love

I like her. I like him

I love her. I love him.

Reading those statements, 'love' and 'like' sure give a different feeling when you say it. Thinking about it, 'like' gives off such a shallow and trivial meaning. 'Love' however, is too deep in a sense and you just don't know when to use it in romance.

So I set off asking some of my friends to what does 'Love' and 'Like' mean for them and ultimately end up with a satisfactory, but not necessarily universal, meaning for both words. I would reflect based on each of their statements and try to put what they are trying to say in my own words. We may have clashing opinions but I would never say they have a wrong outlook on 'love' and 'like'

So let's start off.

"The difference between liking someone and loving someone, to me, lies in friendship. Anyone can be a friend, and anyone can be a crush, but it takes the combination of the two to love someone. Love is lasting and definite, and it needs to be made sure of. Friendship, knowing somebody, knowing that you get along with them, and knowing that you want to spend time with them, is the stage between liking a person and loving them. Alternately, liking someone – having a romantic interest in them – is the stage between friendship and love. Friendship and passion alone are two remarkably valuable things, but together they are the two components of love." 

- Megan Talarico^[1]

According to her, 'Like' and 'Love' are two different levels of relationship that is based on friendship. I liked how she said that anyone can be either a friend or crush but saying that the combination of the two means that you actually love that person is not always the case.

For instance, being put into the 'Friendzone'.

I've defined from one of my posts that the Friendzone is a relationship state established when an individual likes you but you don't reciprocate that individual's feelings but you still maintain the friendship. In this instance, you, the individual, have feelings that exist both as a crush and a friend towards that certain someone.

However, that is not necessarily love.

Also, there seems to be a contradiction between liking someone and being friends with somebody. I thought it was more of a process that converges to love. I think that she is trying to say that Love is an endless cycle of friendship and liking someone. Love is constantly knowing a person and always wanting to be with them.

Love is also constantly falling for that person everyday.

__________________________________________________________

"When you like someone, you only think about them once or twice and day, you may like other people at the same time; as liking them, when you get a message from them you smile and you feel happy for a few minutes and that’s it. You wait a certain amount of time before replying. You’d rather avoid them in real life than go up and actually talk to them.

If you love someone, their name takes over your mind every minute of everyday and they're the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing when you go to sleep You can’t stop writing their name everywhere, even when you've just have the worst day ever when you get a message from them your whole day seems to have been amazing. You sit there waiting for them to reply to a message you sent them immediately after their last one, you wouldn’t miss a chance of talking to them when you see them. Whatever you try to make yourself not love them would never work...

It’s weird because the only person who can make you smile on the worst days is the also the only person that can make you cry even on the best days."

- Jasmine Marsh

According to her, like is just a sort of temporary feeling and isn't too much of a priority in life. Love, on the other hand, is a feeling that takes over you. You know it's love when you think about that person every minute. He or she is the first and last one in your thoughts everyday.

The thing is, whenever we start liking someone we start to doubt ourselves. Be it physically or mentally, we find an issue in ourselves and think that we won't end up with that person we like. We become so insecure that whatever you can do with him or her will fall apart.

I think the reason why someone will only maintain as a crush is because we look down at ourselves.

Insecurities about weight, intelligence, the way you dress or even something as simple as the way you walk, we always think there is something wrong with us and that the person you like is perfection and he/she won't stoop down to your level.

Love, however, is learning to accept your flaws as a person. Before you can love somebody, you must learn to love yourself first. With this, you will always think that both of you are on the same level and when you start to enter a relationship, you see each other as equals rather than someone being dominant in the relationship.

Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to other people. 

Love needs mental preparation. Not physical.

Love is also a double-edged sword. It's not always in our favour, but being able to overcome the hard times and celebrating the good times is an attitude someone needs in Love.

__________________________________________________________

"If I had to describe liking, in a romantic sense, it would mean that a person is just a little bit more special than another. But that's it. You wouldn't cross the sea or commit a sin for someone you like. While loving would mean you'd seriously consider a future with that person. It would mean you'd set up things so you could be together with that person. When something happens it will hurt you one way or another and even though you want it to stop it can't. But I think with liking, when it seems you will get hurt you'll protect yourself. In a shorter version? Loving is about thinking solely of the other person, while liking is a bit less dangerous than that." 

- Mamiko

According to her, liking is just treating someone a bit more special than anyone. Loving, on the other hand, is seeing things in the perspective of the person you love.

When you like someone, it means that he or she stands out in a crowd of people.

When you love someone, despite the crowd of people, all you can see is that person.

When we like someone, we think not much of that person, but we mostly think of ourselves. As liking someone, our goal is to get into his or her heart. We think of ways for him or her to notice us. However, as I've said, we doubt ourselves too much in this stage. We have too much fear because we don't want our crushes to know what we really are and get hurt because of that. It's like we're building a bulletproof vest; too much layers of personality just to impress our crush hides our true selves.

But the truth is, we just don't want to get hurt just in case.

When we love someone, we show what we truly are to that person. We are bare naked. If that person gets hurt, we also get hurt. If she's happy, we're happy. It's either like a bomb or a warm blanket. We either get hit by shrapnel or we embrace the warmth.

The only difference is that we receive the pain or the comfort full-on.

That's why Love is dangerous.

__________________________________________________________

"Love is like many indescribable feelings and like is basically, say, something is favourable to you. If you love someone [or something] you want to share your life with them or it. For example I love banter so I want to spend my life having banterous moments whereas like means you enjoy banter but don't want it surrounding you all the time. It's a moderate version of love."
 

- iiixomsteromx_xiii^[2]

According to him, like is love in moderation. It's the level of commitment to someone or something that differentiates the two of them.

Let's just say that we're only putting love and like in a romantic context.

You enjoy his or her company and you become happy when the person you like converses with you. However, you don't see this happening as a regular thing in fear that that person may freak out on you being "always there".

So, in turn, you put a limit on everything. You don't talk too much or hang out too much just out of respect and for that person not to suspect.

Everything is in moderation.

You feel like you're a dog in a leash. You can't just set off and do anything you want to do in fear that you might get punished. And if you behave well, you'll get rewarded.

But in life, people who do good don't always get rewarded.

The important thing, however, is learning when to commit and to what extent are you willing to commit.

Love is not blindly taking chances but it's recognizing something is a chance and before taking it, you learn how much commitment would you put into it.

__________________________________________________________

"Love is where you can't stop thinking about them. They're always on your mind. Everything you do is in respect to them"

(How about crushes? Don't you always think about them too?)

"Pretty much but it's less; as you think you like them but you gotta learn more about them."

- Galvanize

According to him, Love is when you can't stop thinking about that person. Like is pretty much, but less than, love as you still need to learn more about them.

Love is a continuous learning process.

Liking someone is just plainly taking down notes from a new topic.

Your crush is always an exam, a random pop quiz:

What is my crush feeling today? Who does he/she like? What are his/her favourites?

Do I have a chance?

When you like someone, you look for unanswerable questions.

When you love someone, you look for questionable answers.

__________________________________________________________

"My parents say: ‘You might not like the person you love. You may love someone despite not liking their faults. You might have fallen in love with someone that you like very much and then find that anything that you don’t like about them is transcended by love, and end up redefining what you like about people.’"

- Megan's Parents

According to them, loving someone doesn't necessarily mean you like all of them.

I got to say this, but what they said is really real. Must be coming from the experience.

When you love someone, you don't have to like their flaws but rather you've got to learn to accept them. Nobody's perfect you see.

But if you truly love that person, you must learn to accept the way he/she is.

He/she may be a smoker, or a drinker, or really into books, or very compulsive, or someone who likes games. If you like some of their qualities, sure. But if you're thinking that they're going to change for you then think again.

You love someone because you learned to accept who they are.

You love that person because they possess qualities that made you fall for him/her, not because he/she doesn't have the traits you don't like.

Learning to accept his/her flaws can change your outlook to society. You'll think that those people who possess the traits you don't like might not be entirely bad people at all.

The greatest relationships are the ones you never expected to be in.

Love is seeing that person through all his/her worst, but you still think that he/she is the best.

__________________________________________________________

"Well love is the stronger form of like but I think it's different chemicals in your brain that make it happen."

(Expound?)

"Well basically love is a stronger bond. Probably uses a different part of the brain or something. If you've never experienced it before it's hard to tell the difference but you kind of understand it on your own eventually."

- Thomolomas^[3]

According to him, Love is a different sort of chemical reaction in your brain compared to like.

I did a little research of the biology of love and like.

Since he mentioned that Love is a stronger form of Like, then it must be the hormones associated to each could possibly be the same.

Here are some of the hormones (apparently) associated with Love and Like:

Adrenaline - The first sign of starting fall for someone is when your stress levels start to increase. Adrenaline is the hormone that increases blood pressure and heart beat. Seeing that person you like will make you sweat and make your mouth dry.

I guess with Love, it's a more natural feeling. But you know it's there.

Dopamine - According to a study, the feeling of seeing the person you like could be compared to the feeling of having cocaine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that stimulates the brain bringing an intense rush of pleasure.

I guess when you're in love, your dopamine levels must be crazy.

Serotonin - The chemical that makes you feel happiness. Do I need to say more?

Oxytocin - The chemical that makes you feel love.

If I were to be asked, which chemical is the key to loving or liking someone, I would answer that each feeling would have a different balance of each.

Love would probably have higher levels of oxytocin and serotonin but not necessarily of adrenaline.

Like would probably have higher levels of adrenaline but fluctuating levels of oxytocin.

I guess it's hard to understand love and like in a scientific context, but eventually it'll come to light what you really feel.

__________________________________________________________

"Well, love is when you want to spend the rest of your life with the person. Like, however, is when you are attracted to them, but can't see a future with them"

- DeepVoiceDave

"I would say like is when you want to date someone and love is when you want to be with them, all you can think is them and ageing your life with them."

- Jcd

According to them, Love is a lifelong commitment and like is just something temporary.

These statements would normally be most people's outlook on love and like. However, I believe love is not all about the future and the rest of your life.

Liking someone is more of achieving self-happiness and a confidence build-up. You feel happy because you are able to make that person happy. You feel terrible because you though you can't do anything about his/her problem.

Love, however, is being able to celebrate life's ups and downs of each other, with each other.

Love is like a person. It matures through time.

If you are able to withstand the test of time, you will understand that you are both meant for each other.

Love is not necessarily seeing a future with someone but rather it is being able to secure a future with someone.

__________________________________________________________

"Well I don't really know about loving anyone because I haven't [experienced it], I guess it's appreciating someone and really liking [his/her] flaws as well and like is more of a lust or liking of a personality"

- Emsterification

According to her, Love is being able to appreciate and like the flaws of that person. Like is more of a lustful feeling or just liking a personality.

It contradicts what Megan's parents said, however, it can stand for itself. People are entitled to their own opinions anyway.

When you start to like someone, it's all about aesthetics. I don't believe in "love at first sight", because first of all, the basis that you start having a crush on someone is that they are good-looking in your eyes. Don't lie, there's no such thing as "love at first seeing his/her personality".

It's like cooking chicken. If you get the timing right, you can serve it beautifully cooked. Take it out to early, it's raw. Take it out too late, it's dry and overcooked.

No matter how well you present your chicken, if inside it's not properly done then it's not a beautiful dish.

So if you're going to start falling for someone, keep in mind the cooking time of your love. Make sure to serve it at the right time. Not even a tad early nor a tad late.

And of course, serve it to the right person. He/she might not be a fan of chicken after all.

If that person rejected you, it's fine. If it's your first time, you are bound to make mistakes. The important thing is to keep trying. A good chef doesn't just learn by observing but he/she knows how to apply it.

Don't worry, you'll never run out of chicken.

__________________________________________________________

"Like is more of a crush. Like on a celebrity, someone like your idol or who you want to be with. Love is when you are serious about them and want to spend every moment with them. They are always in your heart, and you don't care about what happens, you always stand by them. It's a complicated feeling that leads to other feelings. That's what I think anyway."

- Otaku4Evs<3

"Loving someone is similar to idolising them.

Liking someone is developing a small scale affection for them at an infant stage of a relationship."

- Mike Hunt 

According to them, Like is developing some sort of affection and wanting to be with that person just for fun. And with Love, it is the feeling of extreme admiration and seriousness with your feelings.

Love is complex.

Even though the person that you know you love doesn't like you, it doesn't matter. Just by the fact that knowing that you love that person is enough.

However, the way you handle your love dictates the other feelings it will lead to. For example, if it's an unrequited love, you know it's just going to be melancholy and bitterness. But the way you handle these feelings is what makes you a better and much more confident person.

Sometimes, love is not a feeling. It's a life lesson.

And sometimes, the people we once loved just came into our lives to teach us how to let go.

I guess I just know what it's like to have hopeless feelings for someone.

__________________________________________________________

"I think like is more like you feel attracted toward someone but that attraction could die or something I mean love is when you love somebody no matter what they do or who they are and like is the opposite?

Love is when you want to spend your life with that person."

- bethani27

According to her, like is some sort of interim attraction towards somebody. Love is unconditional.

The reason why we can't upgrade our like to love is because we are unsure of what's going to happen next. We are afraid that we might mess it up.

But then again, the thing is we should never stop trying.

You know you're starting to feel love when you start thinking about that person's feelings when you consider taking the next step. It's not bad to be afraid, it shows you care. But it's bad to worry too much.

True love is selfless love.

After accepting the fact that you love yourself, you start thinking about that person, and only that person. Nothing can stop you from doing whatever you like.

You care because you chose to. You love because you chose to.

Not because you're obligated to.

And you never stop trying.

Eventually, everything just falls to place.

You know it's love when you don't have to try anymore.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

[1] - My stylish friend, Megan Talarico. Visit her amazing blog: megantalarico.wordpress.com

[2] - My good friend, Omid. Follow him on Twitter: @OmidEshghi
[3] - My other good friend, Tom. Follow him on Twitter: @Thomolomas

Thank you very much to all the people who have given time to provide me their wonderful insights of love and like. Hope you guys like it. I'll hopefully make my own on my next post so stay tuned!

Post on the comments of what you think! I would be delighted to hear from you.

A New Blog Segment

Hello everyone!

There has been some serious lags in between my posts and I do apologize and promise to make up for it. I did have a bit of a writer's block on the way.

So now, with some help from a friend and fellow blogger, I was able to develop an idea for a new segment called 'Thoughts through Testimonials'. It's like my last blog segment, 'The Blog Project' which was a series of posts that helped me integrate with blogging. My new segment however, features testimonials from people that I know and I would be reflecting to each statement.

Hope everything was well while I was away. Now, I'm back with some fresh ideas...

With some help, of course.

So the first post for my new segment would be titled 'Looking Deeper at the Contrast of Like and Love'. I am still constructing it and would post as soon as possible.

Stay tuned!