Have you ever been so down that you don't even know if you can still pick yourself up?
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts you as much?
Have you ever held on something that you know will never exist?
Love is too much, too complex for me. I've always lived for a one-sided love. I've never had someone who genuinely likes me (except for my family). I've never experienced how it is to be wanted, to be responsible for such an important task. It can't just exist in my dreams, in my fantasies because I know that each of us deserve to have this wonderful moments.
I don't even know why I get jealous of people who've had multiple relationships. I don't know why it makes me so desperate. I don't know why do I think that I live in a world full of jerks and their cute faces and their manly build. It's like they exist so that they could shove it in my face that they're better in all aspects -- and that they only deserve a relationship.
Love is never fair. Reality is never fair. If you are born an ugly duckling, you live forever an ugly duckling. In this world, there will always be someone who will be better than you.
Deal with it.
Fantasies are for kids. Touchy cheesy movies are for hopeless romantics. Love is for the people who are lucky enough. Depression is for the people fucked up by Life and Love.
Why live everyday just being let down by life, tripped by society and fucked up by reality. Why do we teach ourselves that we will have happy endings? Why don't we have happy middles or even start happy?
Everybody deserves to be loved. Everybody deserves a relationship. Be it monogamous, polygamous, platonic, acquaintance, family or exclusive with God, everybody lives for a happy relationship. Love only makes it better. Love makes acquaintances to friends. It makes friends to family and sometimes, lovers.
This is why Love is worth the wait. It's like being pregnant. Waiting for that miracle for 9 months. But with Love, it can take weeks or months or even years!
I have always been waiting for my miracle. No matter how long it will take, I will still wait.
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